Now with 99% less swearing. Sorry about that, I got a bit excited last week.

Amber & Nick in “Tanguera” by Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo

Since I’ve never been a big fan of results shows, or the filler they usually entail, I want to start off by saying that I really like this season’s new format (whereby there is no results show, but rather everyone dances and then they reveal the results from the previous week).

We also learned this week that the couples draw numbers and then pick dances from a list. Talk about the luck of the draw! I’m sure if my father were in charge, he would ensure that whoever got first pick one week would be last the next, but with these producers I have no doubt that somehow the favorites will get top picks every week. At least we now know why the three ballroom dancers got ballroom last week.

Lindsay & Cole in “Teeth” (Hip Hop, Christopher Scott): A fun way to start the show, but no real meat to it. Whether this ends up on the final DVD will probably depend on the rest of the season. I definitely can see it losing appeal over time.

Amelia & Will in “3326” (Contemporary, Sonya Tayeh): A great piece from Sonya. This seemed more like a professional dance performance rather than a reality show piece, especially given the music. Amelia was great as expected, but Will really carried his own here. However, the bigger revelation was his size. Will’s a giant y’all—he’s taller than Cat even! (Side note: Congrats on the Emmy nod, Cat Deeley, you deserve it!)

Amber & Nick in “Tanguera” (Argentine Tango, Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrionuevo): Really? Ballroom again for these two? That’s a bit much. Amber has beautiful lines, but I don’t think they have much chemistry. It’s a shame because I usually really like Argentine tango when done well, but this fell flat for me. Since Nick was eliminated, it will be interesting to see her dance next week with Brandon.

Audrey & Matthew in “Hear Me Now” by Sonya Tayeh

Audrey & Matthew in “Hear Me Now” (Jazz, Sonya Tayeh): Hey girl, sorry my shirt fell off.* This was a funky cool piece from Sonya—what a great night she had. But I want to see these two dance something that doesn’t fall under the umbrella of contemporary.

Janelle & Dareian in “My Girl” (Lyrical Hip Hop, Christopher Scott): Wow. Was that really Christopher Scott? Was that really hip hop? Utterly forgettable. I like these two crazy kids, but that piece put them in serious danger. “You in danger, girl.”

Janaya & Brandon in “Bring on the Men” by Sean Cheesman

Janaya & Brandon in “Bring on the Men” (Broadway, Sean Cheesman): This was great fun. While there have been a few good Broadway pieces over the years (Ellenore & Ryan’s “Razzle Dazzle” comes to mind), I can’t remember enjoying a Broadway number that much since Nick and Melody did “All That Jazz” in Season 1. It made me a little sad that Janaya wasn’t saved, although I predicted her going home last week.

Eliana & Cyrus in “I’m Shakin’” (Jive, Tony Meredith & Melanie LaPatin): Free Elian(a)! And that’s really all that needs to be said about this one.

Alexa & Daniel in “So Long My Friend” (Contemporary, Dee Caspery): You know you’re in for a long 90 seconds when the music is Yanni. A bathtub on stage doesn’t help. I don’t think anything could help these two. Once again they didn’t seem really together. I guess I understand why they hesitated between Alexa and Ryan last year, but at least Ryan didn’t get her partner eliminated as well. Daniel, come back to SF Ballet!

Tiffany & George in “I Want To Be Loved By You” by Tony Meredith & Melanie LaPatin

Tiffany & George in “I Want To Be Loved By You” (Foxtrot, Tony Meredith & Melanie LaPatin): I have a soft spot for foxtrot. Perhaps it’s my love of 1930s cinema, or the Great American Songbook, but whatever it is, foxtrot is my favorite of the five Standard ballroom dances.** Caitlin & Jason in “Minnie the Moocher” from Season 5 and Clarisse and Jess in “Fly Me to the Moon” from Season 8 are two of my favorites, but this one came awful close.

Witney & Chehon in “Tandav Music” (Bollywood, Nakul Dev Mahajan): I still don’t get why this is a competition style they do on the show. I understand that when they first had Katee & Joshua dance it in Season 4 that it was amazing, but they should have stopped there. That said, I’d be happy to see them use it for big group numbers, you know, like in actual Bollywood movies.

I’d send Amber & Cyrus home, but I think Janelle & Dareian are also in trouble.

Probable DVD Candidates:
Amelia & Will in “3326”
Audrey & Matthew in “Hear Me Now”
Janaya & Brandon in “Bring on the Men”
Tiffany & George in “I Want To Be Loved By You”
Witney & Chehon in “Tandav Music”

*For those wondering why every commentary on these two starts with “Hey girl,” it may help to know that Matthew looks remarkably like Ryan Gosling.

**The five Standard ballroom dances are foxtrot, quickstep, tango, Viennese waltz, and waltz. The five Latin ballroom dances are cha-cha, jive, paso doble, rumba, and samba.